Archive for category Comedy and Tragedy

Bengals 2016 Draft Class

Posted by on Monday, 11 January, 2016
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Bengals 2016 Draft Class: Maintaining the Tradition

Which ass did the most damage to the Bengals?

Posted by on Monday, 11 January, 2016

Two rhetorical zen questions for the day. The first one: which ass did the most damage to the Bengals? The second question is below the fold.

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Mascot with orange fur leaves field with head down…

Posted by on Monday, 14 December, 2015

http://frazerllp.com/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8FDRdPKu3c64WzyNk0d_GVJxxZVABpO_9mem_5X8JPd_Qn-q1vw-pdcQylFvcmqand so does the guy in the cat suit.

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Balls of Steel, Leaving Us in Awe…

Posted by on Monday, 7 December, 2015
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AB, official ambassador of Steel Balls, teabagging the Colts.

h/t TomPaulBillyBob

A Tale Of A Wishy Washy Raiders Fan

Posted by on Wednesday, 11 November, 2015

Richie

My buddy Richie S. comes to Portland on a Monday and the only time I can see him is during the Steelers Monday Night game vs. the Chargers. So basically, I told him that was what we were doing. There wasn’t really even a, “Hey, how do you feel about this?” type of suggestion floated out to Richie. I said, “This is going on.” He said, “Sounds like fun!”

Richie shows up, cheers for the Steelers, has a good time. It’s evident from the TV coverage (and subsequent stories that Rivers went to a silent count during a home game) that Qualcomm Stadium has been taken over by Steelers fans. Jonny has been sack tapped the week before as a good luck omen (long story). All seems right with the World. Steelers win. We go home because we all have to work the next day.

Fast forward 24 hours and Richie gets outed by my buddy Matt T. as a Raiders fan. On the one hand, after finding out that Richie was actually a Raiders fan, I thought to myself, “What the hell? I would never put on the shirt of another team and cheer for them, no matter how much I liked one of their fans.
Then, “Oh, what the heck? We won. Why question it? Maybe it was because Richie finally left the Dark Side. The football gods must have rewarded us with our where to buy cytotec first West Coast road win in a decade due to my intervention in his sporting life.

Fast forward again to this past weekend. Richie texts me about how our two favorite teams are playing.
I respond with, “You only get one team, Richie.
He responds with, “That would be the one.
I knew then that we would win. I was absolutely certain that the football gods would punish Richie’s wishy-washy, flip floppiness with a Raider loss. Then mid 1st quarter, Dan sack taps Jonny with his Terrible Towel and the outcome was all but completely certain.

I felt pretty bad about goading Richie into turning his back on his favorite team and fellow fans for a second….

Well, no I actually didn’t. It just seemed like a polite thing to write. But, you all know me and realize statements like that are BS. So, nevermind.

Fast forward again to the Sunday. Steelers are up 35-28 and cruising toward a victory, I’m teetering between whether I should send a conciliatory text to Richie or just taunt the heck out of him for showing some fair weather fan tendencies, thus sending his team on the path toward defeat at the Steelers’ hands.

And then,…. Aldon Smith stumbles while trying to tackle Roethlisberger and lands on Ben’s left foot. Watching the replay, I was sure that Roethlisberger’s foot was broken. Hoped not, but really thought it was.

It turns out that Big Ben’s injury was only a sprain. He will probably miss a week, but Monday morning on his radio show said that he is not counting himself out this week versus the Browns.

Just the same, I probably should have waited to gloat until it was over. That’s what I get.

Browns bring Factory of Sadness to San Diego

Posted by on Monday, 5 October, 2015

Check out the info graphic at the top of the screen: 3rd and 13, score tied 13 to 13, 3rd period with 13:13 to go and 3 seconds on the play clock.

Maybe Cleveland should change its mascot from a brown dog to a black cat.

Some Tebow Perspective courtesy of Ricky & TomPaulBillyBubba (blame them)

Posted by on Thursday, 20 August, 2015
TebowJesus
Let me preface this by writing that I am truly grateful that generic Seroquel prices Tim Tebow is not one of our QBs. He is not good and does not fit in a pro offense anywhere outside the Oregon Duck packages that Chip Kelly will roll out sometimes. That said, Timmy is 9-7 as a starter, 8-6 regular (57.1%) season and 1-1 in the playoffs (50%).
http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/game_query.cgi?qb=TeboTi00&yr=YEARYEAR 

 

For comparative purposes, the starting records of some other QBs that certain fans believe would make fine replacements and/or accompaniments for Ben within the QB corps:

 

Kirk Cousins: 2-7 (22.2%)
Charlie Batch: 25-30 (45.45%) [although he was 6-3 as a starter in the Burgh]
Jason Campbell: 32-47 (40.5%) [although he was 1-8 in his last 2 years]
Matt Cassel: 33-39 (41.77%) [4-5 in the last 2 years]
Jimmy Clausen 1-10 (9.09%)
Ryan Fitzpatrick 33-55-1 (37.07%)
Mike Glennon: 5-13 (27.78%)
RGIII: 14-21 (40%) in the regular season. 0-1 in the playoffs
Chad Henne: 18-35 (33.96%)

Brian Hoyer: 10-7 (58.82%)

Case Keenum: 2-8 (20%)
Thaddeus Lewis: 2-4 (33.33%)
Ryan Lindley: 1-6 (14.2%)
EJ Manuel: 6-8 (42.86%)
Josh McCown:17-32 (34.69%)
Colt McCoy: 7-18 (28%)
Curtis Painter: 0-8 (0%)
Christian Ponder: 14-21-1 (38.89%)
Terrelle Pryor: 3-7​ (30%)
Brady Quinn:​ 4-16 (20%)

Mark Sanchez: 41-35 (53.94%)

Michael Vick: 61-53-1 (53.04%)

Brandon Weeden: 5-16 (23.81%)
Charlie Whitehurst​:2-7 (22.22%)

 

​The point in all of this is not that Tebow is a good QB. It’s that people remember him as a guy who finds a way to win. Hines Ward was like that. Jerome Bettis was like that. Alan Faneca was like that too, although he had more talent for his position than the previous two.  I hope you understand my point. People would rather have a Winner on their team than a guy who obviously gets rattled. That is doubly true of a guy who touches the ball on every snap like a QB.​ Landry Jones makes people nervous. Tebow may suck, in fact I think he objectively sucks, but at least when a guy like him gets the ball in his hands you know he is going to try to find a way.

 

While we’re on the subject, let’s look at the other QBs on the Steelers’ roster.

 

Bruce Gradkowski: 6-14 (30%) When you tell people from Pittsburgh that Gradkowski sucks, their standard comeback is, “He was good enough to beat us. I like him.”  Gradkowski won once and Steelers fans have never forgotten it. He only has a job in the NFL because he’s from Pittsburgh and the Rooneys like a feel good story

[EDIT: also because Joe Burnett forgot to Unleash Hell and catch a pass that Gradkowski threw right to him].

Make no mistake, if we ever have to depend on him for any length of time, we are sunk. He flat out sucks. He is Andy Dalton-Lite.

 

Ben Roethlisberger: 106-52 (67.08%) in the regular season and 10-5 (66.67%) in the playoffs. His 116-57 (67.05%) overall record translates to 10.72 wins and 5.27 losses over the course of a 16 game season.
Further, he still has this kind of record after going a combined 15-14 over 2012-2013. Ben has 25  4th quarter comebacks and 35 game winning drives over the course of his career, including 3 game winning drives in each of the last three seasons. He has a career passer rating of over 90, whether the team is winning, tied or playing from behind. But, what’s really astounding is that some of his best stats are when he is inside his own 20 and has to convert a set of downs to get away from his own end zone. Without this guy, the Steelers are a 5 or 6 win team.

 

I don’t believe that anyone who posts here regularly falls into this category, but people who think Ben can be easily replaced are incredibly short sighted and/or haven’t learned anything new about football since the 70s. There is also the possibility that they are just fucking idiots.

Coming to a Courtroom Near You…

Posted by on Monday, 18 May, 2015
New England Patriots StarGate: NE, The Sum of All Scandals

StarGate: NE

click on the caption for the full story

Posted by on Wednesday, 13 May, 2015

Patriots Fans Should Be Suspended For The First Four Games For Acting Like A Bunch Of Sissies

BY 05.13.15

the asterisk

 

crygate

Posted by on Tuesday, 12 May, 2015

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