Archive for category Douchebags

An Election Eve Observation

Posted by on Friday, 23 October, 2020

On February 16th, 2020, Donald Trump predicted “The 15 (COVID cases) within a couple of days is going to be down close to zero.” As of October 22, 2020, the case count is 8,408,340. In other words, Trump’s prediction was off by a factor of 8,408,340 times. So far.

This may well be the most inaccurate prediction of any meaningful event in the modern history of humankind. Using Trump vernacular, it is a blunder “the likes of which the world has never seen”.

How far off is his prediction from reality? Let’s put it in perspective.

Trump’s COVID prediction is less accurate than:

  • Predicting that the Steelers will hold the Browns to a touchdown, but instead they give up 58,858,380 points.
  • Paying over $15 billion for an ounce of gold.
  • Extending the US national debt to over $165 quintillion.
  • Estimating Trump’s IQ as 210 million and his weight as 1,050,000 tons.
  • Estimating that Hilary Clinton would win the popular vote by 25.5 trillion.
  • Hitting a home run that travels around the globe almost 28 times before landing.
  • Estimating the diameter of an average apple is 400 miles.
  • Predicting that the next presidential election will occur in the year 33,633,360.
  • Your doctor saying you have six months to live, but you actually live to age 4,204,170.
  • Guaranteeing Jordan Berry will kick a 50 yard punt, but it actually travels 2 ten-thousandths of an inch.
  • Sending an astronaut to the moon, but your trajectory actually takes him 2 trillion miles past Pluto, deep in the Oort cloud. This is about 158 times further away than the current position of Voyager I, which was launched 43 years ago and has traveled further than any man-made object.

We don’t blame Trump for the existence of COVID, or in his propaganda-speak, “the China virus”. And although good arguments have been made that the majority of the 220,000 who have died thus far would not have died if he were even modestly competent, let’s set that aside. This much is beyond debate: despite having the world’s best scientists and intelligence information at his fingertips, he made a prediction of epic, record-shattering ineptitude, and even to this day is not man enough to admit error. He is a coward, a con-artist, and a failure(*). The man is an imbecile, as is anyone who considers voting for him a second time, thus failing the “fool me twice” test. At the 11th hour it’s time for those with conscience and a moral compass to face the truth, do the right thing, and eject this menace from office.


(*) While trying to come up with a short summary of the man’s attributes, I was reminded of Dawkin’s summary of Yahweh. It applies with frightening accuracy to Trump, needing only slight modifications:

“(Trump) is arguably the most unpleasant character in all (American history): jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

I don’t recall him expressing homophobia or having directly killed babies or his own children – though I’m certain he’d not lose sleep over any of those if it suited his interests. Other than those caveats, this is pretty dead on.

Bell and AB: But… but… but… it was all Ben’s fault!!

Posted by on Wednesday, 4 September, 2019

An offseason non-football post

Posted by on Thursday, 18 July, 2019

From an author who apparently wishes to remain anonymous.

Don’t mess this up for America

Democrats have one job in 2020: Beating Donald Trump. Nothing else matters. If progressives manage to mess this up by insisting on hard-left positions and ideological purity, they will own Trump’s second term. There is a time and a place for everything. When the ship is sinking and you find yourself in a lifeboat, you don’t argue about where you want to go, you head for the nearest land. Further travel arrangements can wait until you’re back in civilization.

The 2020 election is not a normal election. It isn’t going to be about progressives and conservatives. It’s going to be about those who believe America’s democratic institutions are more important than the politics of the day and those who are willing to wreck them for short-term political gain. We who choose to stand with our democratic institutions need to keep our eye on the prize. We can’t afford the self-indulgence of standing on principle and going down in glorious defeat.

Or rather, we must all stand on one overriding principle, that we must install someone with respect for the rule of law and reverence for our constitutional system of government as the next president of the United States. That will require compromise from all of us. The bridge is long and narrow, but cross it we must.

Purple Bird Nose Dive

Posted by on Tuesday, 2 January, 2018
to Auger In  -  verb; to crash (e.g., an aircraft) into the ground. Named for the large crater an aircraft makes in the ground when it crashes at high speed. 
Examples: "The Baltimore Ravens augered in two years in a row, first due to the Steelers 'Immaculate Extension', and then, inexplicably, at the hands of a desperate Red Rocket."

How far did the Ravens fall in the blink of an eye? According to ESPN, they entered the day with a 97% chance of making the playoffs. In the space of a few seconds, they plunged over the cliff like Thelma and Louise:

That’s two years in a row where the Ravens controlled their destiny to have it snatched away at the final seconds by a defensive collapse, with multiple defenders flailing on the ground. What do you say, John?

        John Harbaugh Sheds Purple Tears

Posted by on Friday, 13 January, 2017


Posted by on Wednesday, 2 November, 2016




Posted by on Tuesday, 1 November, 2016

Because Cleveland.


Politics and other crap, part 2

Posted by on Monday, 1 August, 2016

It’s getting a little hard to load the comments from the original post, so I’m starting a new one.

There, I fixed the Color Rush photo…

Posted by on Friday, 22 July, 2016


In Ozzie They Trust

Posted by on Friday, 15 July, 2016

2016 Baltimore Ravens Skill Positions