NASCAR Sucks
Since the Car Racin’ Season is about to begin; I offer something I wrote a few years back.
I’ll go ahead and point out to all of you right now that I don’t write as well as Walsh. So, temper your expectations.
NASCAR Sucks
April 21, 2009 at 8:59am
It’s stupid. I realize I may be slandering something that is near and dear to some of your hearts, but it is f-ing stupid. I’ve never understood the fascination with watching a bunch of guys drive around and around and around a track, chasing each other. Watching paint dry would be more exciting. I am sorry if I’m offending your sensibilities by pointing this out. Well ok, actually I’m not. It just seemed like the polite thing to write.
I’m sure that I am into things that some of you would find equally as dumb. One caveat, if that were the case you would, of course, be wrong.
I am a passionate football fan to the point of being what some people have called obsessive. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers and dislike the Dallas Cowboys almost as much as I HATE the Baltimore Ravens; almost but not quite. Important stuff, I assure you. When the Steelers are playing, come hell or high water, I’m watching that game no matter where I have to go to do it. (I’ve been out of town and driven an hour one-way to see a game on TV.) But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to extol the virtues of poking a bit of fun at rednecks and the other NASCAR dorks.
I will not ever understand how or why people are moved to tears or come to blows over car racing. Where does this passion for stupidity come from? Granted what these drivers do for a living is dangerous, even reckless, some would say idiotic. But, it is not inspirational. How is it inspirational when a guy is literally risking his life every time he goes to work for some cash and a trophy? This isn’t risking your life for your country or doing something brave for the greater good. There’s nothing inspiring at all about it. I mean it sucks that someone had to die before they made changes to make their sport safer but, the notion that this is brave or should be moving is ridiculous. No doubt the drivers have a skill and I have little appreciation for it. But how do I identify with a mullet coiffed flabby NASCAR fan with his shirt off and the number three cut into his back hair so that he can show his NASCAR nation pride? How do I relate to a NASCAR dork who’s screaming at a race on TV in unintelligible ‘retard-ese’? I can’t comprehend it. And maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s some nuance of stock car racing that I’m overlooking. But on the other hand, probably not.
This brings me to one of my life’s little ironies. I was invited to Talladega on the 26th of April for the 500 (which is not sponsored by Natty Light this year. Damn! I guess I’ll have to drink good beer.) One of my vendors invited me to come down. He said “Let’s go get our redneck on” (his words not mine). And being of sound mind and body, and never being one to skip a party, I thought, “What the hell”. I am going and I’m sure it will be entertaining. Between the party and making fun of rednecks alone it should be a blast. As I understand it, it is a 3 day festival of hedonism….in the Deep South….with dancing girls…and deep fried everything…and beer and bourbon…. and fireworks…and fire..arms packed by drunken rednecks. Bearing all of this in mind, I told him to go ahead and sign me up.
This event falls on the same day as the 2nd half of the NFL draft. But, have no fear (I know you were concerned), I have a smart phone and will be following the draft all day while at the race between beers. Priorities are important.
Well I for one certainly appreciate your opinion Abenni; it is certainly an acquired taste that is not shared by all. I was raised in the environment: my mom was dating a guy who the co-owner of a NASCAR team back in the mid-80s (which is unheard of now–to have a single car operation…they’re all multi-team conglomerates nowadays). I was exposed to it and I really enjoyed the passion associated with it, as well as the competition: the cars are all built equally, on the same track with the same tires and fuel, etc, etc…the only thing different are the men (or women) behind the wall or in the racecar. I was also part of a team at a local race track here in Virginia–but you won’t see us on tv Sundays. You’ve either got a taste for it or you don’t–and if you need someone to explain it to you, then you’ll probably never understand the passion others carry for it.
As far as risking life and limb for cash and a trophy: I could think of a lot more stupid things that people choose to do that aren’t near as lucritive. In the top 3 tiers of racing, I believe there have been 3 deaths in the last 15 years. I’m not sure how that compares to football, and I’m not referring to in-action either, rather, I’m referring to the post-career suicides, among the other related misfortunes associated with it.
I don’t think it can be disputed that anyone one this site could be construed as anything but a rabid Steelers fan–my self included. I hope you have a good time at ‘Dega, and I hope you have race scanner, as listening to the drivers and spotters talk adds to the entertainment. Choosing the most deeply rooted venue, at the fastest and biggest track they visit, I hope you don’t use this one instance as the cross-section of the whole. One more thing: I have attended more races than I could possibly count, and I have never seen a single fight or gun…but I’ve never been to Talladega either. I truly do hope you enjoy it and I liked reading your opinion.
Harumph!
To say that football fans are any more sophiscated than NASCAR fans is delusional. Have you seen some of those idiots at football games? Jeez!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkOP0QqeRR4
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WzJyMmRXT3U/SLuW5B6B-SI/AAAAAAAAAO8/lobAowCumRw/s400/football.jpg
http://a.abcnews.go.com/images/International/gty_miami_football_fans_ll_110919_wblog.jpg
That second “football” pic is actually supposed to be a soccer fan (Rotterdam).
But, the fact is every sporting event will have it’s fair share of over the top fans.
The sport in question, NASCAR, I have no appreciation for. But, more to the point, I really don’t understand how anyone else could. I find it silly and therefor the antics of it’s devoted fan base are also silly to me. Just my opinion, obviously. The piece was entirely subjective.
BTW, that Miami fan pic was definitely a keeper. I didn’t know that the Insane Clown Posse lived in Miami.
http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2012/09/15-hilarious-nascar-fan-photos/
I understand and respect your disdain for NASCAR Ben and my point is there are some people that feel the same about football believe it or not. Yeah, I don’t understand that one either but never-the-less, it is true. I would never try to change your opinion even if it was humanly possible. But as hard as it is to believe we do have our reasons for watching the (yes) sport. But I won’t waste our time trying to explain them. As Foghorn Leghorn would say, “knowing the answer wouldn’t do you any good anyway!” LOL
TPBB, scotch is an acquired taste. NASCAR is an acquired affliction.
I wrote that almost 5 years ago. Going to the race was fun, but didn’t make me a fan, obviously.
No, I did not see or expect to see any violence. I did see a few “good ol’ boys” packing firearms on their hips outside the race track in the camping /party area.
And, yes we are all rabid Steelers fans, but that’s different …………
I did see you wrote that 5 years ago, but assumed the race was an addendum to this year. At the very least, you can say you have it a shot and still didn’t like it, so I respect that. Go Steelers!
Ben you sound like my wife describing me and football and, of course NASCAR. She points to a group of drunken idots with painted faces sitting in -40 temperatures half naked. She also reminded me of a Steelers fan that was pumeled to death in the stands in Oakland and ones that were shot in KC. She says football is a bunch of 300 lb. lard asses smashing in to each other all over a little piece of “pigskin”. She would ask, how is that different from NASCAR! Luv ya bro, to each his own!
Ricky, your wife is just wrong. We can’t all be as evolved and well rounded as those of us on this board. Wrong but, no sin in it.
I really hope she never meets my girlfriend. They’ll exchange catchy little derogatory remarks to antagonize us with.
My wife just refuses to watch the Steelers with me. Says she doesn’t want to be sitting beside me when the “big one hits”. But after 40+ years together she has learned not to fight my passion. She pretty much keeps her comments to herself now and definitely shares your opinion on NASCAR. I will never be into NASCAR like I am the Steelers but I do enjoy the science, technology and skill involved. And it beats the hell out of baseball for the summer. If you knew me you would think that sounds crazy because after high school I was offered tryouts by the Orioles and Mets and a scholarship by Bobby Richardson at South Carolina. Shit happened (family matters) that put a screeching halt to either of those. Love to play baseball, don’t give a rats ass for watching it though.
Whats your wife’s feeling on grown men wearing other grown mens jerseys ? Mine feels that should be limited to those 12 and under ..
I have nine jerseys. I get questions like, “Why do you wear those? You aren’t part of the team, are you?” and, “If you are going to wear them, why do you need more than one?”
But my favorite question is, “Why do you have to invest so much time and effort into the Steelers when it isn’t even football season?”
I wonder if it’s possible to undo that vision from my retinas.
I love the Steelers. I also love cars. I love turning wrenches and building cars. I was very fortunate to be able to turn wrenches on some race cars. I was able to be a part of a team trying to be smarter and faster and to work harder and be more dedicated to achieving that ultimate goal, winning. The roar of a crowd after a touchdown gives me the chills. The roar of an 800 horsepower motor and the smell of alcohol gets the blood flowing to my extremities, too!
I live in the heart of racing country and have many friends that work on race teams as engine guys , pit crew , truck driver , etc. I respect what they do and the skills they have but I just don’t get RAcin either. Its seems to be fixed and more like wrestling to me . Oh well , people love it . They wear the gear and will still fight you if you say something about Dale Earnhardt # 3. Its a way of life around here . Charlotte may have the Panthers but stock car racing still rules this part of the South . I’ll never be a fan but to each his own