The image is “beneath the fold” for those who are easily offended.
In a surprise announcement, the Pittsburgh Steelers today signed famed quarterback Brett Favre to replace punter Zoltan Mesko. In a late-day press conference, Steelers General Manager Kevin Colbert explained that the move fulfills the needs of both parties. “After discussions with Brett, it became clear that this move would fulfill Brett’s need to reclaim media attention, while at the same time fulfilling our need to continually lower the bar for our punting unit.”
The 44 year old Favre has been out of football for three years but was recently under consideration by the St. Louis Rams to play quarterback in place of the injured Sam Bradford. Unfortunately, Favre was unable to beat out potential hall of famer Brady Quinn, a rare available alumnus from the Cleveland Browns, well known as “The Quarterback Factory of the NFL”.
Although Favre could not be reached for comment, super agent Bus Cook was willing to shed some light on the move. “In all honesty, Brett would rather just play with his grandkids down on the hog and beet farm, but since I hold power of attorney for him I was able to sign him up with the Steelers. Under terms of the P of A, I’m allowed to make any move that gives Brett the opportunity to make another tearful retirement speech with a new team.”
Mesko has not gotten off to a strong start as Steelers punter, but even so he has been the second most effective punter for the team over the past decade. “It was important for us to do everything possible to reach lower,” said Colbert. When asked about his future, Mesko stated, “I suppose I’ll go back to being the mascot for the Pirates, and failing that I can go back to my carnival booth.”
There is always the possibility that Favre will over-perform, a situation for which Colbert is prepared. “Look, Brett is a professional athlete with many accomplishments. If it turns out he can punt well enough, say 25 yards net average, we may have to make a move still lower on the evolutionary chain.” Although it’s not clear what was meant by that statement, Tim Tebow was quick to deny his candidacy because “Evolution is a garsh-danged commie lie.” However unconfirmed reports have indicated that Bus Cook is now the agent for Steelers beat writer Ed Bouchette. Rumor has it that Bouchette is actively looking for more work in light of the demise of the PG+ web site.
Even when he whiffs, Troy makes the opposition think, always goes all out, and entertains us.
I’m sorry, but this just cracks me up and I need to post it again, this time as an animated GIF courtesy of Steelers Depot. In the not too distant future, Troy will be a fond and fading memory, and we need to enjoy this lunatic while we still can.
No, I don’t mean this perverted drug-addled gasbag to the left. Rather, I was startled to learn from an article at ESPN that the Ray Rice Ravens have been a worse rushing team than the Steelers so far this season. Newly minted Steelers rusher Le’Veon Bell has a paltry average of only 2.8 yards, but that is exactly the same average of both Ray Rice and Bernard Pierce. Bell at least has the excuse of being a green rook with only a couple of partial games under his belt. As the chart shows, the Ravens overall yards per rush is actually worse than the Steelers, and that’s saying something.
(Animation removed so steelerfan58 doesn’t barf.)
It’s easy to rip on Romo. Lord knows, any good Steelers fan despises anything having to do with the Dallas Cowboys. But in the wake of Romo’s recent epic game and epic choke, the point was made that Romo never comes through in the clutch. The statistics seem to show otherwise, and I’d enjoy hearing arguments on this question.
Ben started his career with an unbelievable run, including five 4th quarter comebacks (4QC) and six game winning drives (GWD). He’s also had many amazing comebacks and drives since then, including many postseason stunners. But what has he done lately? In 2011 he had one 4QC and 1 GWD. Last year he had two 4QD and three GWD. So far this year, of course, he’s on a pace for zero and zero. (Roethlisberger GWDs)
In 2011, Romo had four 4QC and four GWD. Last year he had five of each. (Romo GWDs)
Maybe two years don’t make a trend, but in a league that craves instant gratification, the trend cannot be ignored.
Certainly the ability of the QB to mount heroic drives is not on the QB alone. He needs to have reliable targets who get open and go after the pass, and he needs to have at least a modicum of blocking assistance. Even so, as Ben would be the first to admit, he’s got to find a way to engineer 4th quarter drives without all the fumbles, picks, and overthrows we’ve been witnessing for the past couple of years.
Would I take Romo over Roethlisberger? No way, absolutely not. I know Ben can do it and hope he will get the mojo back. But if you look at the stats alone, he seems to have hit a ceiling.
Now, where did I put that asbestos suit?
Romo vs Roethlisberger