According to our poll so far, here is what Steel Ball Nation looks like. I have included several national landmarks as a visual aid.
Poll is below the line…
Steel Balls
Where Steeler Nuts Hang Out
The Harbaugh Act
I’m getting sick of looking at these ugly turds, so I pushed them below the line where they belong.
Welcome to Steel-Balls.org
In an act of desperation, I have given up on my old hosting company and moved to a new hosting company. You should find all the expected functionality here without change. Sorry for all the hassles, folks, but hopefully our problems are behind us now. I don’t believe in jinxes.
We might consider moving the Sound Off back to the right panel rather than in its own page, or having it in both places. If you have an opinion on the subject, vote here.
[Update: opinions seem to be evenly split, so we’ll keep the full page Sound Off that gives you a broader and SFW view, while restoring Sound Off to the right panel, which gives a quick view of current activity and also is easier on mobile devices.]
[yop_poll id=”5″]
In Defense of Ugly NASCAR Fans
I must agree with abennihana about the inexplicable stupidity of NASCAR as a “sport”. However, his opening salvo of the hideous bovine with manicured backhair is somewhat unfair. After all, the NFL has produced some of the ugliest spectators in the history of sport. Out of courtesy to our readers, I’ll keep the evidence of this crime off of the home page, but read on if you have an iron stomach.
NASCAR Sucks
Since the Car Racin’ Season is about to begin; I offer something I wrote a few years back.
I’ll go ahead and point out to all of you right now that I don’t write as well as Walsh. So, temper your expectations.
NASCAR Sucks
April 21, 2009 at 8:59am
It’s stupid. I realize I may be slandering something that is near and dear to some of your hearts, but it is f-ing stupid. I’ve never understood the fascination with watching a bunch of guys drive around and around and around a track, chasing each other. Watching paint dry would be more exciting. I am sorry if I’m offending your sensibilities by pointing this out. Well ok, actually I’m not. It just seemed like the polite thing to write.
I’m sure that I am into things that some of you would find equally as dumb. One caveat, if that were the case you would, of course, be wrong.
I am a passionate football fan to the point of being what some people have called obsessive. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers and dislike the Dallas Cowboys almost as much as I HATE the Baltimore Ravens; almost but not quite. Important stuff, I assure you. When the Steelers are playing, come hell or high water, I’m watching that game no matter where I have to go to do it. (I’ve been out of town and driven an hour one-way to see a game on TV.) But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to extol the virtues of poking a bit of fun at rednecks and the other NASCAR dorks.
I will not ever understand how or why people are moved to tears or come to blows over car racing. Where does this passion for stupidity come from? Granted what these drivers do for a living is dangerous, even reckless, some would say idiotic. But, it is not inspirational. How is it inspirational when a guy is literally risking his life every time he goes to work for some cash and a trophy? This isn’t risking your life for your country or doing something brave for the greater good. There’s nothing inspiring at all about it. I mean it sucks that someone had to die before they made changes to make their sport safer but, the notion that this is brave or should be moving is ridiculous. No doubt the drivers have a skill and I have little appreciation for it. But how do I identify with a mullet coiffed flabby NASCAR fan with his shirt off and the number three cut into his back hair so that he can show his NASCAR nation pride? How do I relate to a NASCAR dork who’s screaming at a race on TV in unintelligible ‘retard-ese’? I can’t comprehend it. And maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s some nuance of stock car racing that I’m overlooking. But on the other hand, probably not.
This brings me to one of my life’s little ironies. I was invited to Talladega on the 26th of April for the 500 (which is not sponsored by Natty Light this year. Damn! I guess I’ll have to drink good beer.) One of my vendors invited me to come down. He said “Let’s go get our redneck on” (his words not mine). And being of sound mind and body, and never being one to skip a party, I thought, “What the hell”. I am going and I’m sure it will be entertaining. Between the party and making fun of rednecks alone it should be a blast. As I understand it, it is a 3 day festival of hedonism….in the Deep South….with dancing girls…and deep fried everything…and beer and bourbon…. and fireworks…and fire..arms packed by drunken rednecks. Bearing all of this in mind, I told him to go ahead and sign me up.
This event falls on the same day as the 2nd half of the NFL draft. But, have no fear (I know you were concerned), I have a smart phone and will be following the draft all day while at the race between beers. Priorities are important.
Admin News: Logins and Chat
The Steelers use the offseason to tweak their capabilities and performance (or so we hope), and Steel Balls must do the same. As many of you know, we’ve been trying to get a handle on a couple of problems here on the site. I can report on the status of those efforts and potential impact.
- Login problems. Up until now, it has been difficult to log in consistently to the site. I’m pretty sure that situation has been resolved, and I want to encourage you all to try logging in rather than visiting as a guest, and please report here if you have any difficulty doing that. I have logged in and out multiple times over the last couple of days without error, so my fingers are crossed.
- High CPU usage problem. This is a problem that is invisible to users, but my hosting company has been pushing me on this for weeks and to be honest we haven’t figured out the cause. However, there is some indication that it might originate with our beloved chat system (Sound Off). As such, I will be tinkering with it over the next few days, experimenting with changes such as requiring you to log in to see and use the chat, or possibly moving it off of the home page, or maybe experimenting with a different chat system. It’s important to resolve this CPU issue because if I am forced to move to a dedicated server it’s going to cost considerably more money to host this site, and I really want to keep it free.
On another administrative issue, I have disabled public registration on the site. This is a response to the relentless deluge of spam registrations being perpetrated by bots and apparently even some humans capable of getting past the captcha code, no doubt slaves in India or the like, bartering their time as spammers in trade for a bowl of kibble. Anyway, if you need to register or re-register, send me an email and I’ll do it for you.
Your patience is appreciated.
[Update] Please note… as part of my cleanup effort, I have reviewed and deleted approximately 500 bogus account registrations from the site. It is difficult for me to know for sure that a registration is bogus unless I recognize the username or there is something obvious to indicate that it is legitimate (like a Steeler-related avatar) rather than a registration generated by some a-hole spammer. Therefore, I almost certainly have removed a few registrations that were actually legitimate. If you fall into that category, send me an email and I will create a new registration for you. For the time being I have disabled public registrations. If anyone is curious, we currently have 76 legitimate registrations, although probably only about half of them are regular contributors.
The 2014 Dapper Dick Award Goes To….
It was a well fought battle, but in the end it was Roger Goodell by a foreskin. The Harbaugh brothers finished in second place, only one point behind, following a stunning write-in campaign. The bronze medal goes to perennial tool Warren Sapp. Better luck next time, guys. Final results:
Pride, and MVP Awards, Cometh Before the Fall
Peyton whiffs the first play of maybe the last big game of his career. (Animation on next page).
